Mentally Preparing Your Child During the Bitter Divorce Proceedings

By Harold Obrien posted 9 days ago


Thousands of couples head to the divorce courts each year, many not realizing the devastating effect it can have on the children. Divorce affects kids badly, so when you know that divorce is inevitable, start mentally preparing your kids to soften the blow. 

Specializing in all aspects of divorce 

To a child, the loss of their family life and perhaps the disappearance of a parent can be incredibly traumatic. Apart from coping with the break up of family life, there are psychological consequences too.  

Child support mediation has many lasting benefits for a child and a reduction of anxiety as well as being able to grasp what the divorce is all about are just two of the benefits. C.W. Martin is a highly specialized Texas attorney, and when it comes to divorce, the law firm’s focus is on protecting the rights of children.

Divorce is traumatic for children and the law firm comes up with the best solutions to ensure children are as emotionally unaffected as possible. 

Try to keep things unchanged

Routine is important once news of the divorce has been broken to the kids. Major changes will come for the entire family and you want to keep things as familiar as possible for your kids.

You don’t want to bring major disruptions to a child’s daily routine. You want to minimize unpredictable events and sudden, tense separations and keep things as calm as can be. 

As a parent, you need to watch out for sudden behavioral changes in your child, especially older teens, as they can often turn to alcohol and drugs when they don’t know how otherwise to cope. 

Keeping both parents in the picture

Once you’re sure of your divorce plans, talk to your child about how you will be living separate lives. Explain to them that both of you will still be very much a part of your child’s life. Tell that that parents often don't agree on things, but one thing they do agree on is the love they have for their children. 

Both parents can affirm their love and presence in the child’s life and, in doing so, reduce the psychological effects of divorce on the child. Supportive parenting strategies can help a child adjust to the changes and to see things won’t be so bad after all. 

Some unnerving changes

For some children, seeing two parents part isn’t their main unhappy issue. The hardest part for many kids is the changes that are to come. For a shy, introverted child, changing schools can be such a stressor as to make the child physically sick.

It is quite likely that moving to a new town is also on the cards. It could mean having to give up on clubs and activities that the child was used to taking part in. There may not be money for extramural activities anymore.

Worse, the changes could mean the addition of a step-parent and maybe even step-children – something your child may refuse to adjust to but will need to somehow. 

Watch yourself

When it comes to mentally preparing your kids for your divorce, they don’t want to see dramatic changes with you. They can become totally unsettled when they see their once-well-groomed parents falling apart and not caring about themselves.

It’s the truth that your mental state can affect the way you care for yourself. When children see their parents disintegrating before their eyes, the message they get is that their parents won’t be there for them anymore. You need to be strong and unchanging in the eyes of your children so that they don’t feel hurt, isolated, and fearful for the future.

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